Walking Contradiction..

Around 6 months or more ago, I thought I was done with this blog, but someone said something to me "you are an expressive person, you will probably find that after a while, you need to blog because things just need to come out."

Guess what, my friend. You knew me well and you are right. The past few weeks have been hard. Hard at work, hard with new people and just generally hard. People generally dont like other people who complain and whinge, so I guess I shall keep that to a minimum. It's not anyone's fault, but thats reality right? Things just get hard. We all wish for sunny days, rainbows and happy times. Many people dont appreciate that enough and only remember rainy days.

When you reach a certain point in life and you realise the person that you are, we always think, what else is out there for me? Is this all life can ever be? It is with certain amount of consiousness that we choose the life that we are in and we do not change it so in some way, have we no one to blame for ourselves for we carve the life that we are in?

It is 1.25am, and I stay awake. Not because I cannot sleep, but because I think of so much work that lie in my responsibility. I reach a point where it disturbs me, and that I cannot focus nor think or work any further. I stay awake. I stay awake and i think, and i think. People always say "why worry, its just work?" But if you do something for like 8-10 hours or like me, maybe 16 hours a day, wouldn't you take pride in what you can deliver? Is it not sad that you find you have so little time to show the capability that you are truly able?

It's been a tough week and its only Thursday am.